wow,
evenings are hard.
kennedi hates them, and i have come to not enjoy them myself because of it.
poor thing can't eat when she's tired, can't function when she's tired.
God have mercy and help our family in the evenings.
(who can name the guy who wrote the song that i titled this blog off of?)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
21st Birthday
Well, today, another year of my life has gone by. I am now 21 years old. I used to be consumed all June and all of July telling everyone that my birthday is soon, I think I almost forgot this year. Having a baby and a whole new life, married, and all the busyness, I had to be reminded that it was my birthday. It seems like sometimes people don't look forward to their birthdays. I think this is because everyone really wants their birthday to be ALL about them. They want it to be special, as it should be. I wasn't looking forward to today, but now that it's here I'm realizing, the Lord rejoices over this day. 21 years ago today, I was brought into this world and the Lord displayed the beauty of creation to everyone who met me. He was showing off me, but ultimately showing off Himself. I could look at this past year and point out billions of things I wish were different, but then again, I won't do that. The Lord sees this past year as another year we accomplished together. I SURVIVED! only by the grace of God.
This past year included a miscarriage of our first child, who we believed was a boy and named him Aaron Jacob Greutman, this was sad, and then I think, Kennedi would never have been born had that not happened. Not that I'm glad, but there's always redemption through Christ.
In that same year we moved 3 times, had Kennedi, was the matron of honor in my sister's wedding and now the year is over. WOW.
Lots of people look forward to 21 because you're now legally able to drink alcohol and buy it... it's funny, they do it anyways before they're 21, not sure why it's such a big deal anymore. and guess what, I won't be drinking today, and even if I did like the taste of alcohol (which I don't) or I didn't live in a community of people where we're not able to drink, I wouldn't anyways.
I will claim this year as a year for breakthrough. A year to extinguish fears and actually learn friendship with Jesus. I want this next year to see my little girl grow up with tangible glory around her. I want her to grow up this year where signs and wonders are normal. The only way to see that is for her mother to take steps of faith and show her that the foolish things will confound the wise. Yes, this year I want to see glory. Lord, make this a year of glory. Amen.
This past year included a miscarriage of our first child, who we believed was a boy and named him Aaron Jacob Greutman, this was sad, and then I think, Kennedi would never have been born had that not happened. Not that I'm glad, but there's always redemption through Christ.
In that same year we moved 3 times, had Kennedi, was the matron of honor in my sister's wedding and now the year is over. WOW.
Lots of people look forward to 21 because you're now legally able to drink alcohol and buy it... it's funny, they do it anyways before they're 21, not sure why it's such a big deal anymore. and guess what, I won't be drinking today, and even if I did like the taste of alcohol (which I don't) or I didn't live in a community of people where we're not able to drink, I wouldn't anyways.
I will claim this year as a year for breakthrough. A year to extinguish fears and actually learn friendship with Jesus. I want this next year to see my little girl grow up with tangible glory around her. I want her to grow up this year where signs and wonders are normal. The only way to see that is for her mother to take steps of faith and show her that the foolish things will confound the wise. Yes, this year I want to see glory. Lord, make this a year of glory. Amen.
Friday, July 18, 2008
he who receives children, receives the Father
"Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me."Mark 9:37
I was reminded today of this verse. I now can look at it in a completely different light. If I receive (and the definition of receive is: to hold, bear, or contain, to be burdened with; sustain, to take into one's possession) my own child (Kennedi) and hold her, bear with her, carry the burden of her, sustain her, and take her into my possession, then at the same time I am holding Jesus, bearing with Jesus, carrying the burdens of Jesus, and sustaining Jesus, and taking Him into my possession.
This brings my heart into a whole new paradigm. This is key in "raising up my child in the way she should go." If I teach her and treat her rightly in my heart and in the natural, then I will in essence be teaching her how to treat Jesus and how to love Him with her whole heart.
On a different note. and the reason why this new paradigm is so refreshing at this time,
Last night I got so frustrated with Kennedi. She wouldn't go to sleep, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't calm down and the whole thing was that she was exhausted and wanted help, but she just wouldn't sleep. So, finally she fell asleep for about a half hour, and I just broke down. If you know me, my personality is not to be at home at all times. I would rather be working or in the prayer room, or running errands, just being around people. It gets rather trying and frustrating when all of a sudden it changes and the only person i'm spending like 70% of my time with is a little baby who can't talk (well not like I'm talking about) and needs to be held a lot and needs a lot of sleep, etc.) and the rest of the time my life is just revolved around her even when I do get a chance to get out without her. Needless to say, this is the reason for the breakdown. I simply came to the fact that "it's just not fair".
After all that, Ben, my wonderful husband, sent me to the class at ZHOP and said get out of the house and don't worry about the baby. She'll be fine.
So, I did, and came back feeling refreshed and encouraged.
Being a mom is NOT an easy job and every day I wake up to start another day with my baby girl. with the new revelation of the fact that if i receive my baby in the morning with a good heart and choose joy in this small season (it really is such a small and short time) then i can receive Jesus that morning in the same way. Praise God for the Holy Spirit and the way He helps us along.
I was reminded today of this verse. I now can look at it in a completely different light. If I receive (and the definition of receive is: to hold, bear, or contain, to be burdened with; sustain, to take into one's possession) my own child (Kennedi) and hold her, bear with her, carry the burden of her, sustain her, and take her into my possession, then at the same time I am holding Jesus, bearing with Jesus, carrying the burdens of Jesus, and sustaining Jesus, and taking Him into my possession.
This brings my heart into a whole new paradigm. This is key in "raising up my child in the way she should go." If I teach her and treat her rightly in my heart and in the natural, then I will in essence be teaching her how to treat Jesus and how to love Him with her whole heart.
On a different note. and the reason why this new paradigm is so refreshing at this time,
Last night I got so frustrated with Kennedi. She wouldn't go to sleep, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't calm down and the whole thing was that she was exhausted and wanted help, but she just wouldn't sleep. So, finally she fell asleep for about a half hour, and I just broke down. If you know me, my personality is not to be at home at all times. I would rather be working or in the prayer room, or running errands, just being around people. It gets rather trying and frustrating when all of a sudden it changes and the only person i'm spending like 70% of my time with is a little baby who can't talk (well not like I'm talking about) and needs to be held a lot and needs a lot of sleep, etc.) and the rest of the time my life is just revolved around her even when I do get a chance to get out without her. Needless to say, this is the reason for the breakdown. I simply came to the fact that "it's just not fair".
After all that, Ben, my wonderful husband, sent me to the class at ZHOP and said get out of the house and don't worry about the baby. She'll be fine.
So, I did, and came back feeling refreshed and encouraged.
Being a mom is NOT an easy job and every day I wake up to start another day with my baby girl. with the new revelation of the fact that if i receive my baby in the morning with a good heart and choose joy in this small season (it really is such a small and short time) then i can receive Jesus that morning in the same way. Praise God for the Holy Spirit and the way He helps us along.
Monday, July 14, 2008
breakthrough and sleep
i know it's been awhile since i wrote on here and frankly it's just been because life with a baby takes up a lot of time!
here are a couple of new things that have happened in our family lately, especially with Kennedi.
In June, Ben and I were watching the 700 Club while I was nursing Kennedi on the couch. We weren't intentionally turning on the tv to watch it, it just happened to be on and we stopped to listen to what they were saying. they were ending the show and i guess the 700 club does healing prayer at the end of their show and words of knowledge for their viewers. Now normally on these types of shows I have to confess I normally roll my eyes and always thought this is just goofy that they are doing this for their viewers, but this time Ben and I joined in and prayed for Kennedi as they did a general prayer for healing at the beginning. They told their viewers to lay their hand on the part of body that needs healing. I laid my LEFT hand on her stomach and we prayed that whatever was going on with her and not being able to eat well and thinking it was gas or something just prayed the Lord would help the problem and heal her. While we were praying the man on the screen stopped and said, "I just got a picture of a lady who has her LEFT hand on the abdomen and is holding a baby; I want to tell you healing is coming!" Ben and I just stunned, looked at each other and realized the picture he was seeing was ME!! This was such an amazing testimony that the Lord was promising us that healing IS COMING!
Over the past weeks we've just been contending and believing for that healing. Kennedi still wasn't eating or nursing well and would just scream when she tried to and screamed after that because she was still hungry.
Finally, after hearing EVERYONE's opinions, which I asked for most of the time, and some of the time didn't, i decided i was finished with just hearing every one else's guesses based on their own kids. So, when Kennedi's eating habits started getting into daytime eating habits with screaming too, i made an apointment to go to the doctor... most would say "OH NO" at that. but my mom said, "doctors are trained to know babies, take her to the doctor". i agreed
we went to see the doctor and found out this whole time kennedi has had acid reflux (which is common in about 1 out of 10 babies). this makes it very hard for her to swallow food without it burning her throat when she ate when the acid would come up. she couldn't be on her back (and still can't eat laying down very well) which was the reason for her not being able to nurse well.
we got medication and now a week later Kennedi is a different baby. She is eating about 4-6oz of food every feeding and hasn't screamed while eating in the past 4-5 days. it's been amazing. she is so happy and generally only cries when she's hungry or getting tired. PRAISE GOD!
The Lord has definitely brought healing in so many ways.
Ben and I have had a couple rough nights during this whole sha-bang and in the end it has just brought us closer as we accept our weaknesses (which seem to be revealed all the more now that we have a baby) and be quick to forgive each other.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
And now we're starting Kennedi on a schedule. We've been reading a book called "Good Night Sleep Tight" or otherwise known as "the sleep lady book". We're now in the process of teaching her how to go to sleep on her own. This will help her in the long run to be able to sleep throughout the whole night and be able to put herself back to sleep when she randomly wakes up through the night and throughout the day during her naps. So, for the next little while little Bean and I are staying at home most of the day just trying to figure out a good schedule for her. I admit, i'm getting a little stir crazy, but I know it's just a passing moment and everything will be set in stone and I will have a scheduled life again even if it takes a few weeks.
here are a couple of new things that have happened in our family lately, especially with Kennedi.
In June, Ben and I were watching the 700 Club while I was nursing Kennedi on the couch. We weren't intentionally turning on the tv to watch it, it just happened to be on and we stopped to listen to what they were saying. they were ending the show and i guess the 700 club does healing prayer at the end of their show and words of knowledge for their viewers. Now normally on these types of shows I have to confess I normally roll my eyes and always thought this is just goofy that they are doing this for their viewers, but this time Ben and I joined in and prayed for Kennedi as they did a general prayer for healing at the beginning. They told their viewers to lay their hand on the part of body that needs healing. I laid my LEFT hand on her stomach and we prayed that whatever was going on with her and not being able to eat well and thinking it was gas or something just prayed the Lord would help the problem and heal her. While we were praying the man on the screen stopped and said, "I just got a picture of a lady who has her LEFT hand on the abdomen and is holding a baby; I want to tell you healing is coming!" Ben and I just stunned, looked at each other and realized the picture he was seeing was ME!! This was such an amazing testimony that the Lord was promising us that healing IS COMING!
Over the past weeks we've just been contending and believing for that healing. Kennedi still wasn't eating or nursing well and would just scream when she tried to and screamed after that because she was still hungry.
Finally, after hearing EVERYONE's opinions, which I asked for most of the time, and some of the time didn't, i decided i was finished with just hearing every one else's guesses based on their own kids. So, when Kennedi's eating habits started getting into daytime eating habits with screaming too, i made an apointment to go to the doctor... most would say "OH NO" at that. but my mom said, "doctors are trained to know babies, take her to the doctor". i agreed
we went to see the doctor and found out this whole time kennedi has had acid reflux (which is common in about 1 out of 10 babies). this makes it very hard for her to swallow food without it burning her throat when she ate when the acid would come up. she couldn't be on her back (and still can't eat laying down very well) which was the reason for her not being able to nurse well.
we got medication and now a week later Kennedi is a different baby. She is eating about 4-6oz of food every feeding and hasn't screamed while eating in the past 4-5 days. it's been amazing. she is so happy and generally only cries when she's hungry or getting tired. PRAISE GOD!
The Lord has definitely brought healing in so many ways.
Ben and I have had a couple rough nights during this whole sha-bang and in the end it has just brought us closer as we accept our weaknesses (which seem to be revealed all the more now that we have a baby) and be quick to forgive each other.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
And now we're starting Kennedi on a schedule. We've been reading a book called "Good Night Sleep Tight" or otherwise known as "the sleep lady book". We're now in the process of teaching her how to go to sleep on her own. This will help her in the long run to be able to sleep throughout the whole night and be able to put herself back to sleep when she randomly wakes up through the night and throughout the day during her naps. So, for the next little while little Bean and I are staying at home most of the day just trying to figure out a good schedule for her. I admit, i'm getting a little stir crazy, but I know it's just a passing moment and everything will be set in stone and I will have a scheduled life again even if it takes a few weeks.
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