so i'm starting to partake in the suffering of a baby getting a tooth. that's right, kennedi has 1 tooth below the surface. she's been doing great at night, not waking up until the morning to eat, and if she does wake in the night, she says a couple baby words and then falls back to sleep. well, not last night. ben and i had just fallen asleep and then 30 minutes later (i thought it was like 1 in the morning) she woke up crying. i went in to check on her, and she was fine, although almost rolled over to her back, so i left her and went back to bed. that same thing happened every hour until 2am. then she slept for about 2 1/2 hours and then did it again until she woke up for good at 7:30am. let's just say it was a flashback to days gone by when she was a newborn. when she woke up i felt her bottom gums in the front and one little nub of a tooth is below the surface. so, i dosed her up with tylenol, and she was fine.
the thing i love about our community is i know that if i'm up at any random time in the night, i have about 3 other moms who i know, if i had a question, i could text them and they'd respond within minutes to answer my question because they're up with their kid too. it's pretty sweet.
well, off to nap while my babe is napping.
hooray for baby teeth.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
jesus sung a hymn!
I have been intrigued, like i said before, with Matthew chapter 26.
One of my favorite parts that I have never noticed before is after the disciples break bread and drink wine with Jesus it says in verse 30, "And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." That means Jesus sung with them a hymn! What was that like? I would've just acted like I was going to sing, or acted like I was singing, closed my eyes and tuned in to what He sounded like singing to the Father. Mmm.. I would just tell everyone else to shut their mouths so I could hear the Son of God sing. Then again, Jesus enjoyed singing with His friends to the Father.
Aside from that, today and the past week or so I have come to realize that because I've been around the house of prayer culture for about 5 years now and been around the bridal paradigm message, I sometimes just think, "yeah, of course, I know that." but I DON't. That's reality. I need basic Jesus 101 or basic bride 101 class taught by the Father Himself.
One of my favorite parts that I have never noticed before is after the disciples break bread and drink wine with Jesus it says in verse 30, "And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." That means Jesus sung with them a hymn! What was that like? I would've just acted like I was going to sing, or acted like I was singing, closed my eyes and tuned in to what He sounded like singing to the Father. Mmm.. I would just tell everyone else to shut their mouths so I could hear the Son of God sing. Then again, Jesus enjoyed singing with His friends to the Father.
Aside from that, today and the past week or so I have come to realize that because I've been around the house of prayer culture for about 5 years now and been around the bridal paradigm message, I sometimes just think, "yeah, of course, I know that." but I DON't. That's reality. I need basic Jesus 101 or basic bride 101 class taught by the Father Himself.
Monday, September 22, 2008
the joy of my salvation
lately i've been trying to figure out what makes me happy. you know, the stuff that makes me smile. i started with the obvious, my husband when he comes home to see me, my baby girl when she's all snuggly waking up from a nap, laughing with my friends, but the list just got harder to carry on. I'm not sure what makes me happy anymore. i would like to say "of course, Jesus", but honestly, if i think about Him right now, i don't smile. i'm not offended at anything specific, i really do enjoy spending time with Him, but it doesn't excite me. revelation doesn't excite me very much. i mean yes, i'll read my bible because i know it brings life and feeds my spirit, but there's no uprising of the strings of my heart or a new song right now. i miss the joy of my salvation. i miss not feeling tension all the time in my soul.
jesus, the Joy set before me, Love that fires the sun, make me burn again.
jesus, the Joy set before me, Love that fires the sun, make me burn again.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
new revelation part 1
i spent a lot of time in the prayer room (2 hours, which is a lot for me)
lots of new revelation including this quote from dave sliker
Jesus knows that the best way for us to experience the deepest love and rise to the highest level of obedience is for us to experience shaking discomfort, and struggles and learn how to successfully overcome obstacles. He knows the one who love the most intensely will fight the hardest to win.
i will post more later
lots of new revelation including this quote from dave sliker
Jesus knows that the best way for us to experience the deepest love and rise to the highest level of obedience is for us to experience shaking discomfort, and struggles and learn how to successfully overcome obstacles. He knows the one who love the most intensely will fight the hardest to win.
i will post more later
Thursday, September 18, 2008
obviously it's been forever
i kind of gave up on blogging for a bit. it seems that all blogs out there have something profound to say. i used to have a lot of profound words and mostly they were just words (definitely not implying on those who have blogs specifically) i'm going to start blogging again and eventually it'll be right on our website benandbekah.com rather than here. so here's an update
i'm doing MUCH better. i had been feeling bored, lazy, had no vision anymore, distant from the Lord, etc. BUT I kept reading the bible just reading it for the sake of some bit of Life put into me. every service or prayer meeting i went to at zhop the person was talking specifically or singing specifically the verses i had been reading that day. i've been going through Matthew and every time i showed up at zhop whatever i just read was being talked about. i knew this was the kindness of the Lord for the sake of my heart knowing He was close. I've just been pushing through and Ben has helped me a bunch in this. I was having a hard time because I don't really have a "thing" I like to do. or a "hobby". i mostly just like my friends and talking about normal day-to-day stuff. but this also seemed very undesirable for me. i think one of the good things about this is i've been being very honest with myself and open (barren) with others. My heart has been being exposed even if it's terrible. AND i'm not ashamed of it. I think I'm realizing I'm completely human and completely reliant on grace. I think as I become more honest with what is really going on in me, I will start being more ok with myself and being myself in front of others. it's funny, the way i act around my baby when no one else is around is actually my real self i'm realizing. i think our children bring out the silliest parts of us and exposes it to the world.
So, with all that said, I'm doing a lot better. Circumstances haven't necessarily changed, but my attitude towards the Lord and towards others has changed.
We had a baby shower for a friend of ours yesterday and I got to reconnect with some ladies I haven't talked to in awhile. I also realized that when I get in these little funk seasons I tend to go introvert and avoid people, even if they're friends I love. Well, showers lately have forced me to connect with them and I love it. Moms really need each other I just found out. :o)
Kennedi is doing great, becoming quite the little ham. she's got all new sounds and fun noises. funny faces and goofy smiles. love her to death.
Ben is doing wonderful and working a LOT. we've definitely learned how to work rightly though with zhop. you have to schedule your time and NOT say yes to things outside of that to survive in a day and night community. we're loving our friends and each other more and more as we grow together. ben has really gone out of his way to make a way for me to get to the prayer room. it has been amazing. this actually might be the reason for the change of heart i've had, because i've gotten focused time to pray and just be enjoyed by the Lord. i've also been singing with katie reed on her devo sets and they've been really good. i didn't realize how much singing rips open my heart to feel and understand myself and the Lord. try it! singing really opens a door.
i'm doing MUCH better. i had been feeling bored, lazy, had no vision anymore, distant from the Lord, etc. BUT I kept reading the bible just reading it for the sake of some bit of Life put into me. every service or prayer meeting i went to at zhop the person was talking specifically or singing specifically the verses i had been reading that day. i've been going through Matthew and every time i showed up at zhop whatever i just read was being talked about. i knew this was the kindness of the Lord for the sake of my heart knowing He was close. I've just been pushing through and Ben has helped me a bunch in this. I was having a hard time because I don't really have a "thing" I like to do. or a "hobby". i mostly just like my friends and talking about normal day-to-day stuff. but this also seemed very undesirable for me. i think one of the good things about this is i've been being very honest with myself and open (barren) with others. My heart has been being exposed even if it's terrible. AND i'm not ashamed of it. I think I'm realizing I'm completely human and completely reliant on grace. I think as I become more honest with what is really going on in me, I will start being more ok with myself and being myself in front of others. it's funny, the way i act around my baby when no one else is around is actually my real self i'm realizing. i think our children bring out the silliest parts of us and exposes it to the world.
So, with all that said, I'm doing a lot better. Circumstances haven't necessarily changed, but my attitude towards the Lord and towards others has changed.
We had a baby shower for a friend of ours yesterday and I got to reconnect with some ladies I haven't talked to in awhile. I also realized that when I get in these little funk seasons I tend to go introvert and avoid people, even if they're friends I love. Well, showers lately have forced me to connect with them and I love it. Moms really need each other I just found out. :o)
Kennedi is doing great, becoming quite the little ham. she's got all new sounds and fun noises. funny faces and goofy smiles. love her to death.
Ben is doing wonderful and working a LOT. we've definitely learned how to work rightly though with zhop. you have to schedule your time and NOT say yes to things outside of that to survive in a day and night community. we're loving our friends and each other more and more as we grow together. ben has really gone out of his way to make a way for me to get to the prayer room. it has been amazing. this actually might be the reason for the change of heart i've had, because i've gotten focused time to pray and just be enjoyed by the Lord. i've also been singing with katie reed on her devo sets and they've been really good. i didn't realize how much singing rips open my heart to feel and understand myself and the Lord. try it! singing really opens a door.
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