lately i've been trying to figure out what makes me happy. you know, the stuff that makes me smile. i started with the obvious, my husband when he comes home to see me, my baby girl when she's all snuggly waking up from a nap, laughing with my friends, but the list just got harder to carry on. I'm not sure what makes me happy anymore. i would like to say "of course, Jesus", but honestly, if i think about Him right now, i don't smile. i'm not offended at anything specific, i really do enjoy spending time with Him, but it doesn't excite me. revelation doesn't excite me very much. i mean yes, i'll read my bible because i know it brings life and feeds my spirit, but there's no uprising of the strings of my heart or a new song right now. i miss the joy of my salvation. i miss not feeling tension all the time in my soul.
jesus, the Joy set before me, Love that fires the sun, make me burn again.
2 comments:
Bek, i feel like some of this is part of your transition to being a new person with new roles. Jesus is going to reveal Himself to you in new ways. it will be different but not "worse" or "lesser" -He is always increasing, never decreasing. and you are at a time, i presume, that you feel you have decreased quite a bit, yes?
...perfect! when we decrease, He increases. So, Father, i believe with Bekah for an increase of Jesus in her life. Do it today, in Jesus' Name.
agreed, and amen
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