again i return to the blog.
its about 7:30pm on a monday night. staff meetings for zhop are from 6pm-8pm, so normally I put the baby to bed around 7pm and await my husband's return. today though, kennedi took a whopping 30 minute morning nap (boo), so we had a cranky baby most of the day. so, in other words, early bedtime for her. she was asleep by 6:30pm. poor baby.
there's always excuses to not spend time with the Lord, first its, "i'm a teenage, let me have some fun before I get disciplined" then it's "i'm dating, we absolutely need to be with each other every moment, there's just no time to" then it's "We're engaged, my life is and must be consumed with wedding planning" and on to "we're newly married, we're trying to get our life in order and readjust" then "i'm pregnant, i just don't feel like doing anything" now (and where I am) "i have a baby, anytime i'm not laboring for her, i want to do something for myself or just plain sit on the couch" so all that to say, i HATE excuses. as much as i'd like to say i spend my time well before the Lord and spending hours in the Word, I just don't do it. I get some sweet time here and there but mostly lately it's been when I come to that point of "I am being really mean to my husband, I'm being mostly unfair to my 5 month old baby and expecting too much from her, and I'm in an all around terrible mood most of the time" then i spend time with the Lord. It ends up being actually very sweet. the good part about that is the Lord doesn't say "boy, where have you been? shame on you." he just picks up where we left off and just enjoys me. praise jesus.
2 comments:
on Thanksgiving day 1987 I was at the end of my rope missing my quiet time with the Lord. Missing my God beyond measure!!
I was a full time single mom with two little girls. I was going to night school on a scholarship that I had worked really hard to get by these set of drilling interviews. I was going through a course to try and become an EMT. This was all while I was waitressing and tending bar all at the same time to survive.
I was trying to do it all and be all things to all men and my time with my Lord was where in all that?? I also had a roommate who had a little girl it was a really crazy time in my life. Actually my entire life has been crazy but that is another story! We had been invited to another sister in the Lord's house for dinner. I told my roommate to please take my girls with her that I just needed some quite time with the Lord.
That day changed my life and it has led me right here right now in this moment sharing with you these words!!!
It must have been the first time in all of my adult life that I was stopping the spinning world of chaos all around me and choosing to get alone seeking my God the same way, with the same fervor as I had known as a child. I just missed my Papa and wanted to spend time with Him.
I had decided since I stayed home to fast all day as a love offering to my Lord. Now I am one who loves to eat. Thanksgiving happens to be my favorite holiday. I make the best sausage stuffing which is my mom's recipe so for me to not eat on this Holiday?? you so know was an true act of God!!
That was the day my life changed forever... As I sat there praising my God and telling Him how much I loved and missed him I was on my knees and I began to say with my eyes closed; I am not my own I am bought with a price. The more I repeated it it began to permeate in my inner soul what those words meant, my life was not my own it belong to my Lord, it has been bought with the price of his innocent blood for all of my sins. The more I said it the more this illuminating light filled the room.
It was warm and bright and I knew my God's spirit was there like nothing before this point in my life had I ever known or heard of happening to anyone.
There was such a peace, such a joy such oneness with my God. There in his presence time had stopped and I desired nothing more then to just be in his presence of His majesty lost in his wondrous love and light!!
I was in awe it would be years before I would understand that I had broken into the holy of holies. Something that in the old testament if there was sin in the priests life who tried to enter into the ark of the covenant?? They would die and they would tie a rope around their ankles to draw them out!!
For our God is a holy God and we are to be holy as he is holy!!
That day God visited me in such a profound way that I thought that was the coolest bestest thing that could have ever happened to me. I thought I had arrived on top of it as I wrote in my journal, right after this experience God poured out all these words non stop for like a half an hour talking to me. It was well over a week before the words I read made sense to me that God was giving me a prophecy about my own life!!
That was 1987 and it is now 2008 and that prophecy is till being fulfilled I am on the last part of it being fulfilled right now this moment this night!!! With these words!! I kid you not!!
One of the things my Lord told me in that writing was that I would have a son. That was 1987 in 1992 I had a son!!
The reason why I shared all this with you is never underestimate the power of our God. First our God is NOT a man that he should lie if he said it he shall perform. It may not be in your time or what you think is your understanding of time as God operates in a total different time frame then our small understanding of things. God's ways or not our ways His thoughts are not our thoughts, they are higher greater then we shall ever comprehend obviously that is why he is God!
Now to the part about taking out time for Him. He is jealous God he wants his time with each of his children called by his name. He wants our first fruit not our leftovers. For those who are his remnant they are called to excellence, holiness, truth integrity justice and total life service to their God and to their fellow man. It is a strong command but God is a rewarder of them who diligently seek him.
With your quiet time try best you can to give our Lord your first fruit that early morning time before the world and your family needs pull you into a gazillion directions.
It may start out with disciplining yourself if only by getting up 15 minutes earlier then usual. Before you know it your discipline will turn into a desire to want to sit at His feet and learn of Him and then?? It is transformed into a delight to be able to walk with your God in such intimate way as it was from the begining of time. God has always had his remnant of people that will seek him at any cost.
Sounds like you are a great mommy who is well on your way to a lifetime of little life lessons that tickle and nag and refuse to go away because your God desires to KNOW you in a real and very intimate way.
Have faith, be gentle with yourself your God knows your heart. There are no coincidences, this moment was your God calling out to you and all of His children that he longs for his children to sneak away and come play with Him.
It is not always this solemn prayer time more often then not it is a song that you hear, a leaf in the wind, a child's laughter. When you belly laugh when you play with your kids, or love on your spouse, or laugh with your friends during a sappy chick flick, or shout real lod when your favorite team wins.
Dare to do great things God gave us life to enjoy!! Beloved I wish above all else that you prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.
God is in all those moments and then some. I look up and smile and wink at our Lord all day long. I ask him what he thinks and where to go and who are we to meet. The Holy Spirit speaks all the time if we have ears to hear.
I constantly turn to my loving Father God for everything and I try my very best to see my world through my Savior's eyes. God created us to fellowship with Him that is why we are here!!
Prayer is the air that we breath with gratitude in our heart simply for being alive. God' says in His word if you love me you will keep my commands. The greatest act of true love for our Lord? Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to walk in love towards our fellow man.
As one who has learned to follow his lead no matter the cost. I can tell you I have never regretted my choice to answer the call "follow me" no matter the pain, humility and ridicule at times that it has cost me. For the joy and peace that I live in every day of my life is priceless and precious. Sure I still have trials and life's demands pull me from my first love, but I have learned to count it all joy and to suit up and show up for life come what may!
I wish you a lifetime of peace and great happiness
as does your God seek Him find Him and show the world around you how real our Jesus really is!!!
Many Blessings
Julia~
'-)
thank u
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